In the Making

Showcase 2011

Posted by cjaxon on May 11, 2011

Sunday: Big Kid Choir Trip

Sunday morning about 7 of us got up early and took the same 9 am flight out. It was really nice to travel in a group, and it reminded us of those high school choir trips. Except there was no chaperone. And we wished we had thought to make matching t-shirts. We got to New York around 4:30 and went our separate ways. I had dinner with my friend Angela and another guy in the showcase came over. Angela works for a talent agency, as in the kinds of people we’re showcasing for. After dinner we talked more about the whole process, about who would be there, about to talk to first if they were interested.

At that point I stopped worrying about it all, because I realized that the work had been done, and stressing would only make things worse. I would perform better if I loosened up and just enjoyed myself than if I actually tried too hard.

Monday: A New Mantra.

I said I stopped worrying, but that’s not entirely true. Monday morning I thought about it some more and gave myself a miniature pep-talk.

I belong here. I am enough. I have something to offer. There is a plan.

I also thought, I’m ready to do the work. I go back and forth between excited to start this life, and apprehensive. It’s exciting to think “Yeah, I’ll go out and get work and live the dream.” But the fact is, that’s not very realistic. It’s more realistic, but scarier, when I think “Yeah, I’m going to go out and audition alot and have stressful day-jobs and be poor.” But I’m changing my mindset – it doesn’t have to be either/or of those options. Now I think “I’m going to go out there and control what I control, which is the work I do to keep myself fresh as a performer. I’m ready to do that work.” I’m ready to have a few day-jobs, but stay in classes, make connections, and be open to opportunities.

We had rehearsal, and I just enjoyed myself. We hung out as a group some, and generally took it easy.

Tuesday: Showtime!

We got to the rehearsal space at 10 am, and worked until 12:30. After a short lunch break we came back for our first show. It went really well, everyone felt good about their work. Afterwards most of the agents took off pretty quickly so I didn’t get to meet any of them.

We took another break for dinner, then came back and did it all again. It’s a funny kind of “performance,” because they ask the audience not to clap or react too much. It’s really supposed to be more of an audition. But at school when we’ve previewed it we got a lot of feedback in the moment. It was a little strange to come here and leave that behind, but not so much to throw us off.

And then we were done. There was no golden shaft of light. No transfiguration. I’m very much the same person I was 24 hours ago. I went in, did my thing, and now we’re done. The results were modest. I’m calling this morning to set up an appointment with a lady for later this week, and I’ve been asked to mail my headshot/resume to a handful of casting people. So that’s cool, but not a super-huge deal.

(Let that be a lesson to any underclassmen that might read this: Showcase is NOT worth obsessing over all of Sr. year. Do good work; that’s what’s most important.)

And now…

The fun week in NY begins. I’ll be here until next Wednesday, taking classes, seeing shows, getting familiar with the audition places/offices I’ll be going to as an actor. I didn’t want to think about any of that for the past few days, because I wanted to really focus on the showcase. At school there are at least 6 different projects on any given day that require a good bit of attention. I enjoyed have one thing to work on, and now that it’s done I can look at my options and arrange my life accordingly.

Which is also the plan when I move here. I’m excited that, just like last summer, everything will be set at my pace, as much or as little as I want.

I belong here. I have something to offer. There is a plan. I’m ready to do the work. 


One Response to “Showcase 2011”

  1. Grandma said

    So glad to read this. I just know that you will do well in NYC. I can’t wait to come up and see your first performance there! Love and prayers, always.

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