In the Making


Posted by cjaxon on July 24, 2011

Hairspray ended up being alot of fun… once we got past opening night. Overall, it was actually a very stressful process for me. It’s a big show, there were so many dance numbers, and just a lot to keep up with. I was very frustrated through tech weekend, even through the first performance, because I kept forgetting steps or missing things. It felt like grasping to hold on to a rollercoaster, instead of really owning it. However, Wednesday I didn’t have to go in for Ragtime rehearsal – it’s the one show I’m not doing this summer. So instead I sat around all day with my friends Jeremy and Kaleb, and generally relaxed. Wednesday night, and for the rest of the performances, I had great fun.

Nicest Kids in Town

We called ourselves the Blue Crew. All these costumes were homemade by our costume department!

Our incredibly talented Trio, the Dynamites.

Meanwhile, the rest of the company continued rehearsals for Ragtime, which turned out beautifully. And Chorus Line rehearsals started on Wednesday. So far, so good. We’ve learned two of the three huge pieces, being the opening audition and the Montage in the middle of the show. They’ve both got their challenges: the opening is physically tiring to do over and over in rehearsals. The Montage isn’t so physically demanding, but it’s very intricate, and everyone has individual pieces. There are several layers to the whole thing, and it’s just mentally draining to spend so much time putting together a 5-minute segment.

In the two weeks off (during Ragtime) I had time to sit around the house, do some things around town, and work on stuff for the youth group. The fact that I’ve finally gotten to a place where I know I’m making a difference to them, that I’m making them think and change, and that they appreciate it, will make it harder to leave in a month.

Speaking of leaving, that’s going to happen soon. As of now, I’m leaving OKC for home on the Wednesday after A Chorus Line is over. And I’ve got a one-way plane ticket to NYC for the Tuesday after that, August 16th.

It’s interesting, I tell people about the move coming up soon and they say “Oh, that’s so exciting!” And I think to myself “… yeah, it should be, right?” The truth is, I’ve been alternately excited and scared. It was so easy to be excited back in May, when I was there and doing it and freshly-graduated. But for a while I was just apprehensive. The fact that I didn’t have a place to live, that I would have to find jobs, that I haven’t been able to work on audition rep like I wanted to, made the move seem pretty daunting. More recently, I’m getting excited again. It eventually comes down to just going. When I was there for spring break, a casting lady told us at one of the workshops “You’ll never have enough money, and you’ll never be ready enough.” On the surface, those words can be terrifying, but the reality is that those things just work themselves out once you get there.

For example, only a few days ago I had bought my plane ticket, but still didn’t have a place to live. I fully anticipated sleeping on friends’ couches for up to two weeks or so. And then not five days ago I made arrangements for a sublet. It’s literally a friend of a friend who needs a temporary roommate, and I heard about it from a different friend. And what’s cool about it (and a little scary) is that this is a perfectly natural, dare I say, typical, way of finding sublets.

So, for now, I’m excited again. No, I’m not completely ready. But I think once I get there, I’ll be fine. I know which things I need to make priorities, and I’ll make it all happen once I get there.

In the mean time, I’m putting off being sad about leaving Oklahoma. Four years ago I was never worried about leaving home to go to school, because I go back to Louisiana several times a year.

But I won’t be returning to Oklahoma as much.

And that’s just the reality of it.

I’ve made a life here, and made great friends, and it would be nice enough to stay. But I must go. I’m sure I’ll be back at some point. After all, there are senior recitals this coming year, and weddings coming up. So who knows?

.  .  .

Actually, that’s what’s scary and sad – I don’t know how often or how many times I get to return.

And I can’t dwell on that. I will enjoy being here while I’m here, and I’ll find ways to keep in touch while I’m not.


3 Responses to “Hairspray”

  1. emmylane said

    Oh can I sympathize with you on rehearsing the Chorus Line opening number back to back to back to back in an unending loop. It’s big, technical, tough, and extremely tiring, but ultimately, SO worth it! 🙂 Can’t wait to see you do it (I’ll do it along with you in my head out in the audience) in a couple weeks!

  2. Katelin said

    😀 Congrats!
    and a J.R.R. Tolkien poem came to mind while reading your post

    The Road goes ever on and on
    Down from the door where it began.
    Now far ahead the Road has gone,
    And I must follow, if I can,
    Pursuing it with weary feet,
    Until it joins some larger way,
    Where many paths and errands meet.
    And whither then? I cannot say.


  3. delms08 said

    Reading this post and seeing where you are now mentally is quite interesting! So proud of you, friend! 🙂 Miss you!

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